[ MUSIC ]
>> HENRY, COME ON,
WE GOT TO GET TO SCHOOL.
>> RELAX. I'M ALMOST DONE.
>> YOU BETTER NOT MAKE US TARDY.
>> I WAS BORN TARDY.
MY MOM SAYS
THAT'S WHY MY FEET ARE SO BIG.
>> BOOM, DONE.
>> WHAT?
>> I JUST GOT TICKETS
TO VALENTINE'S DAY AT CLUB SODA.
>> SHUT UP.
FOR REAL?
>> YEAH, MAN.
>> WELL, GUESS WHO'S GOING
TO BE WORKING THERE?
>> WAIT.
WHAT IS CLUB SODA?
>> IT'S THIS COOL NEW CLUB
JUST FOR TEENS,
AND THEY HAVE EVERY KIND
OF SODA YOU CAN THINK OF.
>> UH-HUH.
AND I'M GETTING PAID
FIVE BUCKS AN HOUR
TO GUARD THE DOOR AND MAKE SURE
ONLY LEGIT TEENAGERS GET IN.
>> WELL, ME AND BIANCA
ARE WAY LEGIT.
>> OOH, YOU'RE TAKING BIANCA
OUT ON VALENTINE'S DAY?
>> YEAH, I AM.
>> NICE.
HOW'D YOU ASK HER?
>> I DIDN'T YET.
>> YOU BETTER CALL BIANCA
RIGHT NOW.
>> WHY?
>> BECAUSE VALENTINE'S DAY
IS TOMORROW AND GIRLS
LIKE TO BE ASKED IN ADVANCE.
>> I THINK I KNOW
HOW GIRLS WORK.
UP TOP.
>> LIKE A MOP.
>> WHAT DOES "LIKE A MOP" MEAN?
>> I DON'T KNOW,
I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT.
>> BOO. >> [ CHOKING ] >> SORRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO...
>> THAT'S OKAY.
>> HI.
>> HEY.
SO CHICKITY CHECK IT.
TWO TICKETS, YOU AND ME,
TOMORROW NIGHT.
YEAH. VALENTINE'S DAY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I'M GOING TO KEEP SAYING THINGS
UNTIL YOU SMILE.
>> HENRY, I CAN'T GO WITH YOU
TO CLUB SODA TOMORROW.
>> BUT I BOUGHT US TICKETS
FOR VALENTINE'S DAY.
>> WELL, YOU SHOULD'VE ASKED ME
A WEEK AGO.
>> OH, COME ON. WHAT?
YOU, LIKE, WANTED ME
TO OFFICIALLY ASK YOU OUT?
>> YES.
THAT'S HOW GIRLS WORK.
[ COUGHING ]
>> SORRY.
I JUST SWALLOWED
SOME "TOLD YOU SO."
>> COME ON, BIANCA.
>> SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY
ASKED ME TO GO TO CLUB SODA
TOMORROW NIGHT.
>> WHO?
>> MITCH BILSKY.
>> MI--
YOU'RE--
WH--
MITCH BILSKY IS ALL BIG
AND MEAN AND STUPID.
AND MITCH.
>> WELL, HE ASKED ME
IN ADVANCE.
SORRY.
>> WELL, HENRY HART. OR SHOULD I CALL YOU, FFF. >> WHY WOULD YOU CALL ME "FFF"?
>> BECAUSE FFF STANDS FOR "F."
>> I FAILED MY TEST?
>> OH, YEAH.
AND I WAS JUST ABOUT
TO TAPE IT TO YOUR LOCKER.
>> WHY?
>> TO SHAME YOU.
>> LOOK, MISS SHAPEN,
I CAN'T GET AN F.
>> WELL, TOO LATE, POOP TART.
>> OKAY.
WHY HAVE YOU BEEN
IN SUCH A BAD MOOD ALL WEEK?
>> I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU.
>> DID NOBODY INVITE YOU OUT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? >> OH, GOD, IT SHOWS?
DO YOU HAVE A TISSUE?
>> I GOT A DOLLAR. >> GIVE IT.
>> HEY. WHAT IF I COULD GET YOU A VALENTINE'S DATE
WITH CAPTAIN MAN?
>> YOU DON'T KNOW CAPTAIN MAN.
>> TRUE, TRUE.
BUT IF I CAN FIND HIM
AND GET HIM TO HAVE DINNER
WITH YOU TOMORROW NIGHT,
CAN I RE-TAKE THE TEST?
>> IF YOU GET ME
A DATE WITH CAPTAIN MAN
FOR VALENTINE'S DAY,
I WILL TAKE YOUR F
AND TURN IT INTO ONE OF THESE.
>> OKAY.
I'M GOING TO TRY.
>> HENRY, WAIT.
YOUR DOLLAR.
>> IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED. >> MY DAD WAS AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
>> I WANTED AN AFTER-SCHOOL JOB.
>> AND BY ACCIDENT,
HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AH!
>> I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE
AND MET
A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
>> I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
NOW I PROTECT
THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
WHO CALL ME...
>> HE TURNED OUT TO BE...
>> YOU KNOW THE NAME.
>> CAPTAIN MAN.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
IN TIME, I REALIZED THAT
BEING A SUPERHERO
IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
>> HE WANTED SOME HELP.
>> I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
>> I, HENRY HART...
>> PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER
TELL ANYONE...
>> THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S
SECRET SIDEKICK.
>> IT IS DONE.
>> NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
>> AND FIGHT CRIME.
>> FEELS GOOD.
>> CALL IT.
>> UP THE TUBE!
OH, MY BOOT.
>> HA!
>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THAT'S YOUR TEACHER,
MISS SHAPEN.
>> MY SINGLE TEACHER.
>> OH, I'M SO SURPRISED.
>> COME ON.
IF YOU HAVE DINNER WITH HER,
SHE'LL CHANGE
MY "F" INTO AN "A."
>> HEY, I GOT A GOOD IDEA.
>> WHAT?
>> WHY DON'T I HAVE
VALENTINE'S DINNER
WITH YOUR MOM?
>> NO.
>> ALL RIGHT.
I'LL HAVE DINNER
WITH MISS SHAPEN.
>> YES.
OOH AND SHE LOVES CHICKEN,
SO FEED HER SOME CHICKEN.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> RAY, I WILL NEVER
FORGET THIS.
>> NEITHER WILL I.
>> HEY, LOOK AT ME.
I'M MR. VARLINTINE'S.
>> EW.
>> THAT IS BAD.
>> YIKES.
>> THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE WEARING FOR GERTA?
>> OH, YES.
GERTA WILL LOVE THIS.
>> WHO'S GERTA?
>> HIS VALENTINE'S DATE,
WHO'S ACTUALLY A...
HEY, SCHWOZ!
>> WHAT?
>> OUR FRIEND HENRY HERE
WAITED UNTIL TODAY TO ASK
A GIRL OUT FOR VALENTINE'S.
>> WHAT?
THAT'S NOT HOW GIRLS WORK.
>> I KNOW THAT NOW. >> SO, WHY DON'T YOU LET HENRY TAKE GERTA OUT
FOR DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT?
>> ME TAKE GERTA?
>> NO WAY.
GERTA IS FOR SCHWOZ ONLY.
>> COME ON, JUST LEND HER
TO HENRY FOR ONE NIGHT.
>> THIS CONVERSATION IS WEIRD.
>> YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
JUST CALL GERTA IN HERE.
>> SURE.
GERTA,
[ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE ]
>> [ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE ] GERTA. >> I'M PRETTY SURE
SHE'S NOT MY TYPE.
>> SHE'S NOT A SHE.
>> AND I'M OUT OF HERE.
>> JUST RELAX.
GERTA IS AN ANDROID.
>> A FANCY ROBOT.
>> SHE'S...
THAT'S A MACHINE?
>> SHOW THE KID.
>> GERTA.
[ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE ]
>> THAT'S THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN. >> YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET.
>> REALLY?
WHAT'S SHE GOING
TO PULL OFF NEXT?
>> NO, NO. GERTA IS
A SHAPE-SHIFTING ANDROID.
SHOW HIM.
>> OKAY, SHUT UP. THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN. DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?
>> HI. MY NAME'S DELILAH.
>> WELL, HEY THERE, DELILAH.
>> EH?
>> SO, I CAN TAKE HER
TO CLUB SODA TOMORROW NIGHT
AND NO ONE WILL KNOW SHE'S FAKE?
>> I'M NOT FAKE, HENRY.
I LOVE YOU.
>> WELL, I LOVE YOU, TOO.
>> AND, DUDE,
YOU TAKE HER TO THE CLUB,
IT'LL MAKE BIANCA SO JEALOUS.
>> YEAH. OOH, WAIT.
>> WHAT?
>> WAIT FOR WHAT?
>> IF I'M GOING TO MAKE BIANCA
JEALOUS, LET'S REALLY GO FOR IT.
>> MEANING?
>> HIGH SCHOOL GIRL.
AND SHE'S GOT TO BE ALL, LIKE--
>> I KNOW WHAT TO DO.
>> WELL, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ME.
>> HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. WELCOME TO CLUB SODA. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
WELCOME TO--
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
THERE'S TOO MUCH TALKING
IN THE LINE!
NOW, JUST HAVE YOUR IDs
AND TICKETS READY TO SHOW ME.
OKAY?
I'M IN CHARGE!
WELCOME TO CLUB SODA.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
>> HEY, WHAT UP, DOG?
HAPPY V-DAY.
>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
>> WHAT?
>> YOU GOT TO BE
AT LEAST 13 TO GET IN.
>> WELL, WE'RE ALL 14.
>> WRONG.
I KNOW PIPER.
YOU'RE ALL NINE.
>> I'M NOT PIPER.
>> MY NAME IS JUDY GLICKMAN.
>> THIS ID IS FAKE, JUDY.
>> OKAY, ARE YOU GOING
TO MAKE THIS A THING?
>> SORRY, KID.
RULES ARE RULES.
>> YOU BETTER NOT--
COME ON, GIRLS.
>> I'M STILL IN CHARGE!
WELCOME TO CLUB SODA. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. WELCOME TO...
OH, HEY, CHAR.
>> HEY, DUDE.
>> I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE COMING HERE.
>> I WASN'T PLANNING TO
UNTIL HENRY TOLD ME
ABOUT HIS DATE.
>> WHO, BIANCA?
SHE'S ALREADY
IN THERE WITH MITCH.
[ GLASS BREAKING ]
[ TIRES SCREECHING ]
>> HENRY FOUND HIMSELF ANOTHER DATE. >> WHO?
>> I SAID ALL I CAN SAY.
>> OKAY. DO YOU HAVE A TICKET?
>> NOPE.
>> WELL, THEN YOU CAN'T--
CHARLOTTE?
>> HEY, DUDE! DUDE!
>> WHAT CAN I GET YOU? >> SODA. TWO CHERRY LIME DEVILS.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. THESE ARE FOR ME.
>> OH, HEY, BIANCA. >> OH, HI, CHARLOTTE. >> HEY, MITCH.
>> SO, DID HENRY COME WITH YOU?
>> NAH. HE'S...
>> MAN, I SHOULD BUY HER A SODA.
>> I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S NOT A REAL PERSON. >> TIFFANY, SHOW HER
HOW MANY DIFFERENT COLORS
YOU CAN MAKE YOUR EYES.
>> OKAY, OKAY. BE NORMAL.
>> DANG IT. >> WHAT? >> HOW CAN I MAKE BIANCA JEALOUS
IF SHE WON'T EVEN
LOOK OVER HERE?
>> WHY DON'T YOU TAKE TIFFANY
OUT ON THE DANCE FLOOR?
SHOW OFF A LITTLE?
>> OOH, THAT'S GOOD.
>> WAIT.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHECK WITH RAY
OR SCHWOZ TO MAKE SURE SHE CAN
DANCE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.
NO OFFENSE.
>> I'M TIFFANY.
>> I'LL CALL THEM.
[ PHONE BEEPING ]
>> YEAH, HENRY, WHAT'S UP?
>> I NEED TO KNOW
IF TIFFANY CAN DANCE.
>> PFFT. SHE'S A HIGHLY
SOPHISTICATED ANDROID.
SHE CAN DO ANYTHING,
DANCE, FLY A PLANE,
SHE'S GOOD WITH PUPPETS.
>> COOL.
HEY, ARE YOU ON YOUR WAY
TO PICK UP MY TEACHER?
>> NO. I SENT GOOCH
TO GET HER AND BRING HER HERE.
>> WHAT?
YOU CAN'T BRING HER DOWN
INTO THE MAN CAVE.
YOU SAID WE ALWAYS HAVE
TO KEEP THE LOCATION A SECRET.
>> SHE WON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
GOOCH PICKED HER UP,
PUT HER IN A SACK,
AND HE'S GOING
TO SEND HER DOWN HERE WHEN--
[ BEEPING ]
>> [ SCREAMING ]
[ GRUNTING ]
>> SHE'S HERE. I GOT TO GO.
>> HEY, MAKE HER HAPPY.
I NEED HER TO CHANGE
MY "F" INTO AN "A".
>> YEAH, BLAH, BLAH.
BYE BYE.
>> AND GIVE HER SOME CHICKEN.
>> YEAH, CHICKEN.
[ MOANING ]
>> OOH. WELL, HELLO, CAPTAIN MAN. >> HELLO.
>> SO...
YOU GOING TO STAND THERE
LOOKING HANDSOME
OR ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME
OUT OF THE SACK?
OH, HEY, IS THAT CHICKEN?
>> YES.
>> CAN YOU DANCE LIKE THAT? >> NO. >> YOU SHOULD TAKE SOME LESSONS.
>> UH...CAN I GET YOU ANOTHER ENTIRE CHICKEN? >> NAH.
I CAN STILL CHEW
A LITTLE MORE OFF OF THIS ONE.
♪ BABY, BABY, YOU TAKE ME BACK ♪
♪ THERE, I SAID IT, I SAID IT ♪
♪ I SAID IT, I SAID IT ♪
♪ OH, BABY, BABY ♪
OH, I'M SORRY,
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD COMPANY.
>> NO, NO.
PLEASE STAY.
PLEASE.
COME MEET MISS SHAPEN.
>> SHARONA.
>> RIGHT.
SHARONA SHAPEN,
SCHWOZ SCHWARTZ.
SCHWOZ SCHWARTZ,
SHARONA SHAPEN.
>> NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> ANYONE MIND
IF I TAKE OFF MY SHOE?
>> ACTUALLY,
PLEASE DON'T TAKE OFF YOUR--
OH.
THAT IS A BIG TOE.
>> THANKS. THANK YOU. HOW YOU DOING, BIANCA?
OKAY, THANKS.
>> 'SUP, BABY. >> I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TALKING TO ME.
>> NOPE.
I'M TALKING TO THIS SWEET THING
RIGHT HERE.
>> HEY.
SHE'S NOT A THING.
>> SHE KIND OF IS.
>> SHH.
>> WANT TO DANCE?
>> YOU CAME HERE WITH BIANCA.
IT'S NOT POLITE
TO DANCE WITH ANOTHER GIRL.
>> IT'S NOT POLITE
FOR ME TO DANCE
ON YOU FACE, EITHER.
>> WELL, LUCKY FOR YOU,
MY FACE ISN'T A FLOOR.
>> I'LL BE ON THE DANCE FLOOR
WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
>> OKAY, THAT GUY IS JUST EVIL. >> YEAH. HE IS PRETTY EVIL.
>> EVIL?
EVIL?
>> WHERE'S SHE... >> TIFFANY? >> HEY, HEY, HERE SHE COMES.
GET OUT OF HERE.
OH, OKAY, YEAH. NO, I CAN GET DOWN WITH THAT. HERE WE GO.
HERE, GIVE ME YOUR HAND.
THAT IS A CRAZY DANCE.
>> SO... I HAVE THIS SORE ON MY BACK. >> A SORE?
>> UH-HUH.
MAYBE ONE DAY
YOU CAN DRIVE ME DOWN
TO THE WOUND CLINIC.
[ PHONE RINGS ]
I GOT TO TAKE THIS.
>> WHOA.
WELL, WHO IS IT?
>> IT DOESN'T MATTER.
HEY, KID, WHAT'S UP? >> RAY, LISTEN. TIFFANY'S GONE CRAZY.
>> WHAT? WHAT'S SHE DOING?
>> SHE'S TOSSING MITCH BILSKY AROUND LIKE A BIG BAG OF FUDGE.
>> I DON'T WANT
TO DANCE ANYMORE.
>> SHE'S GOING TO REALLY HURT HIM. >> RAY, HOW DO I STOP HER?
>> YOU JUST HAVE TO PRESS
A SMALL RED BUTTON
ON THE BACK OF HER NECK.
>> GOT IT.
>> WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
>> MAYBE I'LL JUST SIT DOWN IN HERE FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
>> HELP ME!
>> LOOK, IT'S KID DANGER!
>> I LOVE YOU, KID DANGER! >> HE'S SO DREAMY.
>> HEN-- KID DANGER, BE CAREFUL!
>> THANKS. THANK YOU. OBVIOUSLY THIS GIRL HAS SEVERE ANGER ISSUES.
>> SHE REALLY DOES.
>> RIGHT.
SO, I'M GOING TO TAKE HER
TO THERAPY.
[ CHEERING ]
>> WELL, I BETTER GO BACK TO MY DATE AND HER TOE.
WHAT'S GOING ON? >> OH, I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE A LITTLE TRIP
WITH YOUR BOSS.
>> MY BOSS? SCHWOZ IS NOT--
MY BOSS, SCHWOZ.
YES, OKAY.
>> HE'S GOING TO TAKE ME
TO THE WOUND CLINIC.
>> THEY LOVE HER THERE.
>> I'VE HEARD.
>> HAPPY VARLINTINE'S DAY.
UP THE TUBES!
>> THERE'S NO SAVING THIS CHICKEN.
>> HEY, GUYS. LONG LINE FOR THE BATHROOM. WHAT HAPPENED?
>> THAT GIRL YOU BROUGHT HERE,
TIFFANY.
>> YEAH?
>> SHE WENT CRAZY
AND BEAT UP MITCH BILSKY.
>> BUT THEN KID DANGER
SHOWED UP AND TOOK HER DOWN.
>> WHAT?
>> YEP.
>> WOW.
YEAH, I MEAN, I THOUGHT...
YOU LOOK REALLY GREAT TONIGHT. >> YOU HAVE THE PRETTIEST EYES. >> OKAY, I'M GOING TO GO
STAND SOMEWHERE ELSE NOW.
>> COOL.
SO...
YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME
FOR VALENTINE'S NEXT YEAR?
>> IT'S A DATE.
WAIT.
>> WHAT?
>> YOU CAN'T KISS ME.
I'M STILL ON A DATE WITH MITCH.
>> I WASN'T GOING TO KISS YOU.
I WAS GOING TO BITE YOUR NOSE.
>> HEY!
QUIT BITING MY DATE'S NOSE!